This is a true story. Although not mine. But a story, that represents millions of mothers. On 14th June 1985, Vaishnavi gave birth to a baby in Bangalore. It was not "Love at first sight".
While most mothers are overjoyed holding their little one in their arms, I was depressed. I had a baby girl. Yes, a baby girl. In this 21st century, where we talk about gender equality and women empowerment, deep down in our heart, many of us in the urban and rural society still yearn for a baby boy. Once I knew I was pregnant, I had put up 2 posters in my room– one was an adorable baby boy clad in a blue onesie and the other poster was of Lord Krishna – BalGopal – The naughty & charming kid. Tell me if I am the only one to act crazy! Boys are endemic in my husband’s family. So everyone assured me that I too would have a baby boy.
This explains how I was longing to have a prince charming. I was already weaving beautiful dreams of playing with my baby, his first steps, his contagious and naughty smile, those sweet cuddles and everything rosy one could picture relating to motherhood. My husband had no preferences & was happy with either a boy or a girl. Although my in-laws never explicitly expressed their opinion, I knew they always wanted a grandson. You see, the “boys” are the chirag of the family. And girls are the “parayi dhan” who will get married someday & settle into another family.
At the hospital, as I lay down next to my daughter, I smiled and greeted all my family members as they congratulated me. But I was broken inside, as if fighting with myself. I was tired of wearing a mask. And shielding my feelings made things worse. I felt lost, there was a deep sense of emptiness inside me. But I knew I was strong. I was not slipping into post-partum depression.
The only consolation was that I had a normal delivery. I was discharged on the 3rd day. Time heals everything. And with God’s grace, as I spent time with my little angel, I started loving her more by the day. I was no longer sunk in emotions of regret. Her gentle touch & innocent toothless smile stole my heart. I finally became a mother, a loving mother. The mother-child bond became stronger & deeper. Soon, I became her best friend. I’d spend hours conversing with her, telling her stories and rhymes & everything that made me happy & sad. Soon the little princess turned 3 years old.
22nd November 1988. Turns out that I was pregnant again. And this time I delivered a boy baby. Did you just hear “a baby boy”? Yes, a baby boy! Suddenly my happiness grew multi-fold. I realized that I’ve been blessed with the most precious gift on Earth. I felt like I’ve got everything I wished for. A son – who will always be by my side – my pillar of support. There was no stone unturned in nurturing & pampering the little hero of the house. They played & fought together, and soon grew up to be matured adults who took their own decisions. Life was good.
Today, my daughter is 31 & my son is 28. My son is working as an Associate Project Lead at Fidelity in the US. Enjoying work, well settled. Talks to me once a week. In a nutshell, we are bonded reasonably well.
My daughter is an ‘Entrepreneur’. She has a team of 65 people working for her. She chose to marry in the same city as I am in (Bangalore). Perhaps it was destiny. Or perhaps a definite choice. There has not been a day when she has failed to call even if it were just for 5 minutes. ‘Loving’ & ‘caring’ are two common words. But, my daughter has taught me the meaning of unconditional love. As a parent it is considered a moral responsibility to care & sacrifice for your children. As a child to pay back, is necessarily not. But my daughter does. She essays the role of both a son & daughter so effortlessly and willingly.
Yes, it was not “Love at first sight”. But today, she is dearer than any person in my life. She is undoubtedly my #BestFriendForever. And this article is dedicated to every parent who yearns for a boy baby. I can’t thank God enough to be blessed with an angel daughter like mine. I love her to bits. And love her till me last sight.
A doting mom to an angel, Social Media Specialist & Professional Blogger. She loves to share her thoughts with other parents in the same turbulent boat. She absolutely loves & adores her family & is learning to strike a good work-life balance. When she is not writing, cooking or busy taking care of her toddler, she probably is dancing to some good desi music!