Dear Sasu Ma,
Yesterday was one of those days again. You felt I should have worn my mangalsutra to the family party when I really didn’t want to. I could see the slight disappointment on your face and for a moment, I felt a bit guilty again. I know you felt bad last week too, when I told you that your son (aka my husband) doesn’t need extra ghee on his paratha. I felt that maybe I should’ve just let it go, but I know that it is not ok for his health, so I chose to speak out my heart instead.
But then I thought, how long will this go on? At some point of time, you might stop having any expectations from me or I might stop caring altogether. Honestly, this was not how I envisioned our relationship. I expected us to have a modern MIL-DIL relationship where both of us have a healthy respect with a ‘live and let live’ philosophy. I’m sure you do too. But Indian relationships are never that simple, and a mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship is like somersaulting on a tightrope. But how will we sail through this if we’re not honest about what we feel about each other?
So here’s what has been unsettling me about our relationship:
I know I’m not perfect, but who is?
I might not be the picture-perfect bahu that you imagined. I have my flaws and idiosyncrasies. The way I do certain things might not be to your liking. But who doesn’t have flaws? Best is to see how we can accept them. After all, getting used to new ways in a new house is a big change for me just as getting used to a new person doing things her way in the house might be for you.
We have our choices
I understand that during your time, things were different. Bahus were expected to listen to their in-laws always. But you might also agree that times now are different. We have our choices and we like to celebrate our individuality. For example, I don’t really like pairing the