‘She was tired’.
‘She had a long day at work’.
‘I might have pushed her a little over the edge’.
…..the little mind was looking for reasons to explain but nothing could take away from the fact that Trisha was petrified by what had happened. Her mamma had just spanked her.
Truth be told Trisha had tested her mom. She had walked around the house in her sandals making muddy footprints because mom had asked her to come back from play and not agreed to “10 minutes more”.
The sight of a dirty house at 8:00 pm, a bad day at work, a rumbling stomach and a defiant toddler had made Sheena do the unthinkable..she had spanked her little one…
And now after the house had been scrubbed clean, dinner had been ordered (Sheena just could not muster the courage to cook after an hour of cleaning), both mom and daughter were lost in their own guilty worlds. Waiting for the other to say something…
‘The poor little thing. She must not have expected this’.
‘Why couldn’t I just grin and bear it?’.
‘Will she be scarred for life?’
…Sheena was berating herself.
And just then she just decided to forgive herself and come clean with Trisha. She decided to explain to Trisha why she had lost her cool and allow the toddler to reason with her.
Sheena crouched under the table (which was Trisha’s current hideout) and coaxed the little one out.
Trisha held out her hand, a little hesitatingly, and Sheena’s heart shrunk with guilt. Sheena decided to make Trisha comfortable before they could have the ‘talk’.
Both sat on the sofa facing each other with identical red noses and watery eyes. And Sheena started slowly, ‘ I am sorry Trisha. I should not have hit you today. I did not like what you did but I could have explained it to you in a better manner’.
It was what Trisha was waiting for. She rushed into Sheena’s arms and amidst sobs apologized for her behaviour. After a long and warm hug, Sheena and Trisha had made peace.
Trisha snuggled closer to her mom and promptly went back to sleep, safe in the knowledge that she was loved!
Does that mean spanking is fine as long as you make up? Irrespective of the disciplining technique you use with your child, it is important to be able to communicate to the child that s/he is being reprimanded for a certain behaviour and not for being themselves.
Often times, we fail to make it clear and children start assuming that they are ‘bad or ‘disruptive’ and not their behaviour. Thus follow self-esteem and confidence issues.
And most importantly, give yourself a break mommies and daddies! We are all human. And it is alright to vent once in a while and tell your child what you think of her/his behaviour than boil over all in one go.
So the next time you lose your cool and in a fit of rage spank your child, make sure you have the kind of conversation Sheena had with Trisha. Your child needs to be reassured that you still love her/him. There is no such thing as too much love!
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