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Those unexpressed words – “I Love You”

Published on: 30 June , 2016 | Ekta

Those unexpressed words - "I Love You" seem to fade years or maybe months after marriage. That feeling of love may not change but the expression of love can. They say true love only grows. It obviously can't be as rosy as it was during your courtship period, but, it becomes deeper & stronger with time, with every battle you fight together as a couple. And whilst fighting all odds, sometimes we forget to tell each other how much they mean to us. That gentle kiss on the forehead & that little smile that flashes, strikes the right chord & brings back all those beautiful memories of the past that you cherish the most.

“Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus”. Men & women have reciprocally different natures. Women, especially cease to appreciate these differences & expect their husbands to react & behave the way they do. But men will be men. They can’t express themselves like women do. When faced by tough situations, they like to stay calm & aloof. They do not like interference so that they have time to figure out things themselves. On the contrary, women like to interact & discuss their issues to get collective opinion. Most importantly enjoy the feeling of satisfaction sharing their problems with their family & close friends. Love inevitably changes over time. Love or arrange marriage – it doesn’t matter much. The “I’ve fallen in love” bliss doesn’t last too long especially once you get busy with nurturing your baby. It might have been few months when your husband last swept you off your feet with a surprise dinner date. But do not get discouraged. Give him the benefit of doubt. If you pay heed to the simple sacrifices he makes to make you happy, you will realize that the initial bliss matures into caring love which only gets stronger as months fly by. He loves you. And stands by you. Perhaps you have missed those priceless expressions of love & affection. Let’s take a trip down the memory lane to see if your husband has made these little efforts to make you happy.
  • “Man jaave, Mainu Shopping Karade…”
Yes. The famous song which says “Take me shopping honey”. Let’s face it. All men hate shopping. And all women do - Shop till they drop! If he is patient enough to take you along for buying your peep toes or camisoles, he is sacrificing his weekend “chill out” time to only spend time with you and let you enjoy the pleasure of going to 10 stores, try 10*10 dresses & ultimately choose only a dress if you think it doesn’t make you look fat. And above all, deal with your post-purchase dissonance that is common with women of all ages. If lifestyle & fashion shopping wasn’t enough, he helps you with grocery & veggie shopping – ALL OF WHICH HE HATES! “Listen, can you buy this while coming home?” Bet every wife has made this statement atleast once in her life. The last minute ingredients are always met by your dear husband (who occasionally can end up buying Ragi for Mustard Seeds – you have to learn to deal with it).  
  • He let’s you take decisions, small & big
If your husband let’s you choose his shirt (because they have an innate tendency to repeat the same shirts, every week) or choose the restaurant for a dinner date well, you can be sure these small things make big differences in life. If he gives you the freedom to make decisions at home, small & big, it is his way of showing his love & respect. If he himself asks for your suggestion or advice, it means he trusts you. This doesn’t come easily to men.  
  • “Pushpa, I hate tears…”
For those ardent fans of Rajesh Khanna, you can’t miss this famous dialogue from the movie “Amar Prem”. If your husband can’t see you in tears (often the “Brahmastra” of women when they need to get things their way”) & ultimately surrenders to your wish, he is screaming his love for you. His heart melts when tears roll down your cheeks. He takes you in his arms & apologizes for mistakes that HE has committed. Well, if that doesn’t spell love then what does?  
  • Being a Home-Star - Helping you with the chores
Little do his colleagues know that he helps you with clearing up the table after dinner, with giving a shower to your toddler & with putting off the soiled clothes in the laundry bag. He doesn’t do this because he has come back early from work. He does because he wants you to give a break, to reduce your work-load & to spend some quality time with you. When your husband helps you with the chores, it means pure love. It doesn’t matter whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. Both jobs are equally challenging.  
  • A complaint box
You can’t deny. Women can be very irritating at times. They just can’t stop complaining about the same things over & over again. Mother-in-law & sister-in-law issues, the never-ending maid problems, “Ritu had worn this… Sonia has bought this… only I don’t have this… this… and this…” kind of conversations are very common. If he lends you a patient ear, he is shouting out “I love you”. Love in it’s simplest form. Lending a shoulder & appeasing your wife can be a Hercules task. You should value his effort & acknowledge his time. After all, after a very tiring day at work (bosses are no good either), listening to a complaint box is the last thing anyone wants to do.  
  • Surprise!
It has been 4 years since you are married & you are busy taking care of your infant, almost forgotten to love yourself. On a Sunday evening he springs a surprise! He offers to baby-sit the child and coaxes you to go for a nice, relaxing pedicure or massage. It’s an act of love showing that he cares for you. A much-needed break from motherhood can help you bounce back, rejuvenate you, to make you nurture your family happily. Whether it’s a mini get away from home or inviting your friends home to watch you laugh & relive those school memories, his heart is overflowing with love. Value it. Deeply. Especially if it a diamond pendant! Lol. J  
  • Hola!
“Hola!" "Heya!" "Wassup?” Or anything silly or sillier (if such a word exists) that he uses when he smiles at you, there is so much love in this simple gesture. However harrowing his day has been, if he comes home without a baggage, leaving his office tensions behind, he cares for you. Greeting your spouse with a smile is one of the best possible things you can do. It can be a great mood elevator. This is how you can keep the magic of love alive.  
  • Homework? – Whose work?
Who helps your kid with his homework? If it is joint responsibility then thank your stars, and more importantly your husband for helping you with the same. Many husbands feel that it is the wife’s responsibility to take care of the child’s education. It is his duty to pay the fees and her responsibility to take care of the rest. If this blog has struck a chord somewhere, don't hold yourself back. Show your spouse how special he/she makes you feel. Actions speak more than words, isn't it? Dear ladies, we would love to hear from you - how does your husband show his love? Share or tag - Let's make someone smile today. Someone very special :) It May Also Interest You To Read - What Parents Really Do On Dates 
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Ekta

A doting mom to an angel, Social Media Specialist & Professional Blogger. She loves to share her thoughts with other parents in the same turbulent boat. She absolutely loves & adores her family & is learning to strike a good work-life balance. When she is not writing, cooking or busy taking care of her toddler, she probably is dancing to some good desi music!

Neelima Thakur 2016-08-26 16:42:02

Well written Ekta

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Neelima Thakur 2016-08-26 16:42:02

Thank you so much Neelima. This is something that is close to me heart. And I think something every woman can relate to :)

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Kanchan 2016-08-02 23:52:33

Marriage Life after kids. So very beautifully written. We can easily relate to many of the situations,

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Kanchan 2016-08-02 23:52:33

Dear Kanchan, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Many of us can relate atleast one of the above situations.

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Thank you for the comment!