Confessions of an Exhausted Mom

Confessions of an exhausted mom! what you will read in the next few minutes is very close to my heart. Something that makes me smile. Something that I am not particularly proud about. But most importantly, something I will remember for a long long time.

I just can’t stop adoring & kissing my baby, especially after a shower - she feels like velvet. I love to swing her around and play with her just to see the most contagious smile. No matter how much I love her, and love playing with her, I must confess, “Raising toddlers is exhausting”. Very exhausting. No matter how supportive your family is, no matter how experienced you are, every child is different. Some throw tantrums to eat, while others need constant attention and most kids, as admitted by all mothers are notorious and naughty. Well, can’t complain much about that.

Lately, what I feel more than anything is that I am exhausted. More than just physically tired, I am drained out in the full, all-encompassing sense of the word. Exhausted of changing nappies. Exhausted of listening to her shrilling on top of her voice causing hearing damage to everyone in the family. Exhausted of redirecting her away from the doors, drawers, bathroom & the stairs dozens of times every day only to find her trying to silently pick all the possible nanoscopic dirt from the ground and quickly put it in her mouth. Honestly, when someone asks “How are you?” I end up saying – “Doing great”. Really?

But all of this is sometimes a blessing in disguise. You can get away with such unsightful things when you are in an awkward situation. Motherhood comes with a baggage but with many benefits. I am sure you can relate to atleast some of them. Without further ado, these are my confessions as an exhausted mom.

1. I’ve woken up later than 9 a.m on a Wednesday morning only to blame it on a sleepless night – Sole credits: My little angel. Well, nights may not be all that sleepless you just refused to wake up when the alarm rang thrice.
2. Getting back to shape is a far-fetched goal because it needs commitment & energy. We obviously don’t have both. Yearn to get off the plus sized clothing & maternity wear. Look fit & fell confident.
3. I often blame a messy home on your child when I have guests coming over. Even if the “mess” is not created by my child. Well, give me some benefit of doubt. I didn’t have enough time to clear the mess because I was busy nursing the baby.
4. Arriving late at a party, wedding, college re-union or family get together is probably the most common occurrence. This excuse at office is a “bolti band”. It always works. It often goes unquestioned.
5. I honestly believe I can become a chameleon. My opinion becomes biased based on my mood & the circumstance – My baby becomes an angel with an over-doze of cuteness when she is taking her first steps. And a demon (not literally though) when the first few steps become destructive throwing & breaking around stuff.
6. I end up giving Maggie – THE 2 MINUTE SOLUTION to the 4 p.m. hunger pangs after school. There are times we are exhausted with work at home. We just don’t have the energy to make something fresh & nutritious. That’s when I resort to the not-so-healthy noodles. But, don’t worry, your child’s delight somewhere negates your guilt.
7. Make hay while the sun shines – I love to browse through my phone – chat with friends on Whatsapp, FB, Twitter in my bathroom; shut from the whining & potty cleaning of my baby. I wish I could do this more often.
8. The lost master chef – Someone who loved baking & trying out new delicacies from a tv show or the internet now sticks to the basics. Who really has the time to make new things every week to delight your family.
9. Dear husband – you are the new scape goat - Be it the maid issues or the mother-in-law issues, the husband has to bear the brunt of all things bad. He has to understand that raising a child isn’t easy. So I become a “complaint box” venting out all my emotions the moment he steps into the room.
10. When smelly feet & unshaped eye-brows go unexplained, it becomes very convenient for me to blame that I am pressed with time & hence I cannot afford to step out for a grooming session. Dear ladies – learn to love yourselves. Look good to feel good. Your child is the most important, but not the only thing that’s important.
11. There is a blanket excuse on why I don’t answer phone calls, reply to messages or reply on groups. You see, my child is my priority – I am a good mother.
12. “What’s wrong with you? You are such a pain sometimes.” – Getting pissed at your baby & swearing in private is shamefully a common occurrence when she goes out of control.
13. I do not iron the clothes unless it’s a must. Never.
14. Messy hair is either the “in-thing” that’s pretty cool or obviously my baby has the habit of pulling them anyway.
15. I bribe my child with chocolates, ice cream & french fries very often – perhaps one more victim of childhood obesity.
16. I allow my baby to pick up stuff from the floor & eat unless it’s landed on sand or on her poop. Well, all children drop food on the floor, make a mess & eat right?
17. Kaapi-Kaapi…. Chaaya-Chaaya… Yes! I need my tea & coffee 4 times a day just to keep me awake & keep going. I can do without milk & snacks but not my caffeine.

Well, although I have given my best to my child, these are some things I am less proud of. I am not a terrible person to blame my child or motherhood for all things unpleasant. How we behave & react to things is often quite different when we are worn out. At times, I may be depressad (Depressed+Sad = Depressad. A word “self-discovered” that I use quite often :) ). But I can’t explain what my little one means to me. And when she smiles like an angel, I recoup in a jiffy and gather all the energy to carry her in my arms, kiss her 20 times and fling her round’n’round till she is over-joyed and gives me the most contagious smile healing her jaded mommy.

Motherhood is synonymous with exhaustion. While you get to cherish the perks of motherhood, exhaustion and depression come in the same package. BetterHelp can be your one-stop destination to erase your depression. With the help of their trained professionals, you can now enjoy your motherhood whole-heartedly.

Do you have any confessions? Let’s get real, all of us do. Dear mommies we are happy to hear something interesting from you. Does this post remind you of someone? Tag them & share this post.

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