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Being a Woman in Today’s Society

History is proof that the status and position of women in ancient India was much better than what it is in the present. Women were respected and valued, not only within their families but also in religious and social spheres. They were treated equal to men and given the same opportunities and freedoms as given to men. So what is being a woman in today’s society?

The status of women progressively worsened as time passed. They were confined to their homes and the opportunities previously given to them were taken away. Certain strict rules and norms were to be followed, the violation of which resulted in the society ostracizing them. They were most definitely the worse during the middle ages where women were traumatized and abused at every turn of life, whether it is in the position of a daughter or a wife or a mother. They were, and still are, treated inferior to men. Practices like that of Sati, Female Infanticide, Female Feticide, etc. creeped up and stuck to the society. Sadly, despite the numerous laws made in order to protect women against these so called religious practices, women still face these customs and malpractices.

being a woman in today's society

However, there have been women in the past centuries that have had the guts to be different and hence have not only changed the way the world sees a woman but have also become an inspiration to women today. As we all know, women in the past chiefly managed their homes and pandered to the men in their families.

Jane Austen is one such woman from the past who is an inspiration to us through her creation of strong and independent female lead characters. She was, probably, one of the only authors of her time who had the courage create such influential female leads. Her female leads not only had the wit and the intelligence, but also perseverance towards becoming powerful characters. In so many various ways, her novels accord more with our time today. The main thing in all of this was that she never portrayed her female characters to be perfect virtues of feminity that were present then, some of the being present even now. No, she portrayed her female characters to be real women with opinions and thoughts of their own and not just reflected by those of their fathers, brothers, husbands or sons.

Rosa Parks, Marie Curie, Florence Nightingale, Amelia Earhart, Helen Keller, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Susan B. Anthony are some of those women who have helped make the world what is now for woman. Rosa Parks, after she had refused to from her seat for a white, said that “all I was doing was trying to get home from work”. Since that moment, she became the face of fighting for the rights of the black in the US. Marie Curie, who twice won the Nobel prize for her work, herself divulged that she had, many times, been asked by women of how she could harmonize her family and her career in science. Florence Nightingale went against the wishes of her parents to become a nurse during wartime. She came to be regarded as ‘the lady with the lamp’. Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly unaccompanied over the Atlantic Ocean. Helen Keller parted the education to the world regarding disabled women. Jackie Joyner-Kersee launched women in the Olympics. Susan B. Anthony got women their voting rights.

Every woman is worthy of an irrefutable quantum of respect. But not all agree to this statement and those who do not are the ones who sow the seeds of harsh and difficult situations in every sphere of a woman’s life. Even in today’s apparently progressive world, there exist men who think that woman’s place is within the four walls of the house and under the thumb of the husband. This situation is definitely changing for the better today. Yes, we are given the same rights and opportunities that our counterparts are provided with. But are we being treated equally and with respect? I would still say NO. Men are still bought up to believe that women are inferior to them in many or most parts of the country.

Role Of A Woman In Society Today

The society today says that women ought to be more feminine and comport themselves with such manner. The same society has established such norms and regulations about every sphere of a woman’s life, starting from her choice in clothes to how she must behave. They talk about women losing their ‘femininity’. I ask what exactly is this femininity. Who decides what comes under this label? The society. And since the leaders of the society in majority are formed by men, no wonder the women today do not connect with these norms. Majority of our understanding of what ‘femininity’ is molded by what we have seen women in the past as well as those around us do. We go on talking about ‘feminism’, but do any of us really understand what feminism is? A girl being a feminist does not mean that she feels hatred towards men. No, it simply means that she rightfully wants equal rights and opportunities that are a given for her counterpart.

Not a single day goes by, that we do not come across any article regarding a woman going through any sort of abuse. What kind of society do we live in, where the same men who pray to goddesses and pay homage to them; are also those who abuse and molest the women of our society. Look at the recent incidents. What happened to women in Bangalore on New Year’s Eve? They were mercilessly teased and molested by men too drunk to be in control. Can the women not even enjoy a festival or celebration without the fear of getting used and abused? These women were groped and mishandled in the presence of the police. Have such men gained so much of confidence that they do not fear the police force of our country? We must ask ourselves if this is how we picture the future of our society and take steps against doers of such horrendous deeds.

Problems Faced By A Working Women In India

Such molestation and sexual harassment is not the only kind abuse that women face in day to day life. Whether it is their career or family life, they face challenges related to sexism everywhere. They are constantly underestimated and trodden upon. Domestic violence is on a rampage. More and more women suffer endlessly at the atrocities committed towards them by the hands of their husbands, in laws and at workplace. I, partly hold these women responsible for what happens to them. Yes, I agree that they were taught to bear every atrocity but there has to be a limit to that. Why do they not fight against what happens to them? What such women do not realize is that these men will only learn women’s importance once they become strong and fight against any injustice they had to suffer through.

What has the world come to? A woman, who has just suffered through abuse and injustice, instead of receiving help and support from the society, gets shunned by the society. She is made to feel dirty and some kind of pariah instead of being praised for facing such abuse. Why is it that a daughter’s birth is still not celebrated in many families when it has become a proven fact that a girl is as good as a boy, at times even better, in every field of life? Why is it that the victim herself is still punished and blamed for what happens to her? What equality and progress are we talking about when the mentality of people refuses to change, or in a more precise manner, when it refuses to update? What do we do when the officials in high posts and leaders of the nation, the ones we are supposed to look up to, are the ones blaming the victims of provocation? I ask you, how can that three year old, who has been raped by a man much older to her be held for being provocative in any way?

One other thing I would like to say is ladies, start fighting for yourselves. Do not depend on others to fight for you. Be your own heroes! Teach your sons to respect and treat every individual fairly and equally. Teach your daughters to be strong enough to fight for themselves against any injustice they face. If we want to change the way society sees us, we need to be the ones to work for that change. Merely complaining and asking for a change is not going to make it happen. Because is this a society we can truly feel proud to call our own? A society where even a female child is made to feel threatened and unwanted and that too by her own family. As, honestly, this is not the society I would like to raise my sons and daughters in.

Yes, things are changing, becoming better. But this progress is too slow. We need to spread more awareness amongst people, raise our children right. Parents, raise your daughters to be independent. As they say, ‘Behind every independent woman and successful woman is her father who believed in her more than the society’, and I count my blessings to be the daughter of such a father.

How To Choose The Best Day Care Centre For Your Child?

Deciding on a day care centre? Think again… Do you know which one is the best for your child?

Are you a busy working woman? Do you have an urgent travel plan that you can’t avoid? Do you have a dentist appointment & don’t have anybody at home to take care of your child? Are you looking for a trustworthy day care centre for your child?

If that answer is “Yes”, do you really know what you should be looking for in order to ensure that your baby is safe, secure and well taken care of? Especially in today’s context where we time and again we hear of unfortunate mishaps, it is imperative to be 100% sure that you are enrolling your toddler in the best day care centre which gives prime importance to safety, medical requirements & hygiene factors that are a tad more important than just good methodology of teaching & premium amenities.

Research has shown that parents rely strongly on good word of mouth before enrolling their child into a day care centre. Well, that’s understandable because you have to be doubly sure if your child is well taken care of in your absence. But have you really thought whether your requirements match with those whom you are taking the advice from?

While safety is the primary requirement of every parent, entrusting their child to a third party, there are other finer details that take precedence on the priority list. Let us take for example, two sets of parents that have been questioned on their priority list and this is what came up:

Parent AParent B
1. Safety1. Safety
2. Security2. Timings
3. Amenities3. Price
4. Hygiene4. Staff support
5.  Price5. Amenities

(Note: The details of the survey report can be obtained by reaching out to us.)

Now given that these parents have a similar educational background and belong to the same Socio Economic Class, it is interesting to note that the priorities are so diverse and some of them don’t even come up on the list – flexibility, activities, medical aid and child to adult ratio to name a few.

Coming to the next most trusted way of day care research, ‘Web Search’: Parents tend to have a feeling that they are doing the right thing because they are “Doing it myself”. For those who are not tech-savvy, there is phenomenon called “Wilfing” that parents (or anybody for that matter) fall prey for. This is where you start with one objective in mind and in the process of researching, forget or lose track of it and come up with something entirely different from what you set out to achieve.

But an even more dangerous outcome is being duped. It is very easy for anybody to make a fancy website by making a small investment to ensure that the website looks authentic & premium. But looks can be deceiving! The reality maybe very different from what you see on the website. And in this fast paced world, parents read reviews of other parents on various parenting forums, which of course is flooded by reviews from a “parent” employed by the organization to do exactly that – “provide positive reviews”.

So what do I do will be your obvious question.

There are certain points that one needs to keep in mind while starting off a search. Keeping it simple I have put them down as pointers rather than never-ending preaches.

  1. Make a checklist & prioritize what you are looking for and WRITE IT DOWN. Because it is easy to lose track.
  2. Source knowledge – word of mouth, websites, reviews on multiple forums.
  3. Shortlist based on your criteria.
  4. Personally visit the place – Talk to parents who have already enrolled their kids in a particular day care centre.
Deciding on a day care centre? Think again… Do you know which one is the best for your child?

In Bangalore, for example, there are several child day care centres which are available at a click of a button. But many of them do not have a license to operate or have an expired one. So you are ought to be careful while confirming your find. Being extra careful by going on surprise visit the first few times you hand over your child will also boost your confidence on the organization. Some of the verified day care centres are listed below for your convenience.

S.No.Name of CentreContact details
1KlayschoolsAddress: Founding Years Survey No. 31/1, Seetaramapalya, K. R. Puram Hobli,
Bangalore – 560048. Landmark: Next to Sumadhura Vasanatham Appt.
Email: info@klayschools.com
Website: www.klayschools.com
2Elly Child CareAddress: #742, 7th Cross, Near BDA Complex,
3rd Block Koramangala,
Bangalore – 560083.
Contact: +91 96632 89716
Email: koramangalaelly@gmail.com
3WeCareWeCare Head Office :No. 1568, 3rd Floor, 1st Sector, HSR Layout, Outer Ring Road, Bangalore – 560 102.
Phone: (080) 6570 – 4414
Phone: (080) 2572 – 5480
Phone: 1860-200-3377
Email: info@wecarelearning.com
4Kids Space AcademyAddress: #103, 3rd Main, Sri Ramanjaneya Nagar
Chikkalsandra, Near Uttarahalli Main Road,
Bangalore – 560061
Landmark: Near State Bank of Mysore
Mobile: 9036065205
E-mail: kidsspaceblr@gmail.com
5Kar4KidsAddress: 65 IAS Officer’s Colony, 15th Cross, 4th Sector
HSR Layout, Bangalore 560 034Contact: Meenu
Tel: +91 80 2572 6344
Mobile: +91 98441 32323
Email: hsr@kara.in
6Kids UniversalAddress: No. 1016,  Nr. Nava Jeevana Institute, 6th Cross, 4th Block, 1st Stage, Hbr Layout,  Bangalore – 560043
Contact Person: Ms Ayesha Dastagir
Phone No: +91 80 6546 0771
Mobile: +91 98802 31231
E – Mail: kidsuniversal@gmail.com
7Chrysalis HubAddress: 21/5, Ground floor, 2nd Cross, Spencer Rd, Cleveland Town, Frazer Town, Cleveland Town, Pulikeshi Nagar, Bengaluru, Karnataka 560005.
Phone: 080 4117 0750
Website: https://www.chrysalishub.com/
8Podar Jumbo KidsAddress: #790,12th Main,1st Cross,
H.A.L 2nd Stge, Indiranagar, Bangalore 38Contact Person :Mrs.Preethi Raghunath
Contact Number :9886175008, 9341949649/41119490
Email :indiranagar@podarjumbokidsplus.com
http://www.jumbokids.com/
9Planet KidsAddress: Planet Kids # 5 & 6,
Unity Buildings, N-Block Ground floor,
J C Road, Bangalore-560 002.
Contact Number: +91 8041145744/844.
Email: info@planetkids.in
Website: http://www.planetkids.in/
10Tom & Jerry CrecheAddress: 359, 5th Main Road,
B Block, AECS Layout (Next to Spring Beauty Apts),
Bengaluru, Karnataka 560037
Contact number: +91 98806 65749
11Esperanza Pre-School & Day CareAddress: No. 21, Gulmohur Enclave Road,
Behind Golkunda Chimney Restuarant,
Kundanahalli Gate, Marthahalli, Bangalore
Contact Number : 9845895431, 080-42246561
Email Id :marth.support@esperanzacorporate.com
12OI Play SchoolsAddress: #531, 2nd cross, 2nd main, BSK 3rd stage,
Kempegowda layout, Kathriguppe, Bangalore-560085.
Contact Number: 1800 – 200 – 8171 / 90101 89000
Email: banashankari.blr@oiplayschool.com
Website: http://oiplayschool.com/

If you have enrolled your child in any day care centre, we would be happy to hear from you. You can share your experience because your feedback can help many other mothers in the same turbulent boat. Happy Parenting! You can also read on The Best Playschools/Preschools in Chennai , Delhi, Hyderabad, Mumbai.

4 Ways To Make Your Kid’s Birthday Special At Kollam, Kerala

Dia was confused. She wanted to do something special for her kid’s 5th birthday. She inquired with a lot of people, but hardly got interesting suggestions. Read on the 4 ways to make your kid’s birthday special at Kollam, Kerala.

This is a common scenario with most of the parents in Kerala. In this era of personalized gifts, it would be so special to gift kids with child centric gifts that even the kid would be amused with. Children want something more than exciting than a just a good dress or a good dinner; just like adults. On the contrary, interactive toys, customised cakes and specialized bedsheets & quilts or anything personalized with their name or photo are cherished for a lifetime.

The possible choices for such personalised gifts in Kollam include

  1. Customized Birthday Cakes

Birthday cakes in the yester years used to be laced with creams and wishes written on the icing. Now, you can order for photo cakes to delight your little one. You can visit ‘Cake World’ near Pallimukku Junction, about 2kms from Kollam. This would be a perfect gift for the special occasion. We will soon enlist the best theme based designer cake bakers in your neighbourhood.

4-ways-to-make-your-kids-birthday-special-at-kollam-kerala-cake

 

2)Customised décor & furnishings for kids

Children love a riot of colours in their surroundings. A child’s room can be designed theme based to suit your child’s needs & safety. From pillows to bed bunks & drapes to bedspreads, you can customize the furnishings according to your child’s taste. Jungle Safari, Princess or Angry Birds… you can visit Bedazzle, located at RP Mall (Near KSRTC Stand, Kollam) to gift something worthy your kid will treasure throughout his childhood. You can also read our review on Peek-A-Boo Patterns, a leading customized store for furniture & furnishings for kids.

4-ways-to-make-your-kids-birthday-special-at-kollam-kerala-decor

 

3) Customised clothes, bags and study articles

Do you have trouble with tackling toddler food tantrums? Is he careless with his belongings? If that’s the case, customized goodies like lunch box, bag, water bottle or a coffee mug are an instant hit with kids. They carry them with pride & joy, and are definitely more careful with their belongings. You can visit the RedMoments showroom on Beach Road, Kollam.  The costs can vary between Rs. 800 to 2500 for bags and Rs. 250 to 1200 for lunch boxes and water bottles.

4-ways-to-make-your-kids-birthday-special-at-kollam-kerala-bags

 

4)Toys for your kids

A fancy treat at KFC or the best restaurant in town may derive short-term happiness. But toys are their friends throughout childhood. You DON’T SPEND on gifting TOYS, but INVEST in buying them for your children. It keeps them busy, builds cognitive abilities & boosts memory. You can gift your kids with toys of their choice from a wide range of toys form Toy World, Vaayattukotta Road, Kollam. Spoilt with over ten thousand varieties of toys, for different age groups, Toy World is a go-to destination for toys.

4-ways-to-make-your-kids-birthday-special-at-kollam-kerala-toy

Celebration of special occasions builds stronger bonds with your family members.  Remember that your kids may not remember what you bought them, but they will certainly remember how you make them feel. Give them your TIME, LOVE, AFFECTION & most importantly your VALUES. That’s the best gift a parent can pass down as a legacy to their children. Children love surprises & gifts. Make sure you gift them with meaningful things that they will not only enjoy momentarily but for a long-long time. You can also read on The Best Birthday Party Themes for Girls, The Best Birthday Party Themes for Boys featured on our website.

 

What’s the best gift you think you have gifted your child; perhaps something they loved & will treasure forever! We would be delighted to hear back from you with photos. Wishing you many more happy occasions in the year to come!

How To NOT Raise Smart, Curious Kids?

How to NOT raise smart curious mind

Every parent wonders – “How to raise smart, curious kids?” This article is a very valuable lesson for today’s parents who want to give the best possible to their children. A child’s brain is malleable & can be molded to be smarter & sharper or weaker and bored. Unfortunately, in the quest to make your children “better than the best”, you are depriving them from some important virtues that makes them emotionally & psychologically unreceptive to new learning. And this is why…

1. Make Real Friends

We have many friends. But on Facebook, Instagram & Whatsapp. Our social angle in the digital space is growing but in reality it is only diminishing. We are either too busy or too reluctant to step out & meet our family & friends. Unfortunately, there are limited opportunities for our kids to make real friends too. Unfortunately, smart technology replaced the outdoor playing time. Also, obviously parents also spend limited time with their kids.

2. The Digital World

Let’s admit it. Everyday life is perceived to be boring. And why not. The digital/virtual world with loud music, visual effects & non-stop entertainment of unlimited choice has even 60 year olds glued to their gadgets. Toddlers are fed with an IPAD or a smart phone to entertain them just to get done with the meal time quickly. A child who is exposed to action-packed sources of entertainment at home, finds it difficult to grasp relatively slow human voices & hence absorbing & processing information becomes a humongous task. This explains why prolonged hours of television has high levels of stimulation (rather negative) on the mind. Todays’ modern times sees both the parents working. Managing work, home & baby is becoming increasingly difficult. Baby sitters & technology come to your rescue when you find yourself knee deep in pain. Hence, the emotional disconnect with the child impacts the holistic development.

3. I’m the Boss!

We often hear parents say “She doesn’t eat without watching TV”, “My 5-year old hates eating greens”, “My daughter doesn’t like to brush”. It’s nice to make your children independent. But, does independence mean changing your entire lifestyle. You can’t let the all the reigns be controlled by your child. Since when did they start dictating to & teach us how to parent them? By allowing them to do whatever they want to do, you are reassuring them that they are their own bosses. And probably yours too. There are some things which can be overlooked. You do not have to gun down your children for every small thing. But some “need to things” have to be adhered to. And there is no other way or shortcut for the same.

4. How much is too much

We read about this in detail in one of our previous blogs regarding toys. We often hear parents complain about their children being stubborn and irritated if they are denied something they want. With an intention to make our children happy we buy them whatever they wish for. But this causes short term happiness, but long term misery. Because, the sad truth is that life is tough! You can’t have everything your way. Giving the child chips, phone, burger, groundnuts to throw around only makes them feel that if they want it or cry for it, they certainly will get it. The ability to delay gratification is essential for future success. Today children are unable to handle stress or even cope up with the word “NO”.  A child should learn that he CANNOT get what ever he wants. You may have the monetary strength to buy it, but not all wishes can & should be fulfilled.

5. Not FUNny

The moment of truth – every parent at some point in their life feels that they are not performing their parenting duty to their best. Particularly when your child falls sick or get hurt in your presence. Also, importantly when you feel you are not giving enough time to your child. It is unrealistic to expect your child to have a day as packed as you have. The moment you see your child bored with his toys you wonder how to entertain him with other sources and devices. Life can still be fun if you involve him to be a part of your daily activity like giving a glass of juice to all the members of the family; or keep the toys back into his cupboard. Suddenly, when the exciting life at home with every member conversing and entertaining the child at home is not translated at school, the child loses interest in sitting & studying in one designated seat.

As mentioned earlier, the brain is malleable & can be re-mollded. You can train your child’s brain to develop, hone the social, emotional, and academic skills and hence raise smart and curious kids by:

1. Children are great imitators. Give them something great to imitate.

You are the biggest idol to your kids. It is not ok to lie, be rude, get angry, dishonest or act authoritative. Bad habits & behavior is passed down generations. They will adapt and go two steps ahead in every wrong direction that is exposed to them. After all, it is always easier to get attracted to negative things.

2. Knock knock!

A “knock” is symbolic of someone or something unknown waiting to be unwrapped. Surprise your kids with small things that will please them. Try to establish the emotional connect with your child. Play hide ‘n’ seek or Ludo, put a Chhota Bheem sticker in their munch box or anything that will delight your child. In short spend time together. Your child will start trusting you more & sharing things that he probably has not.

3. Set & stick to the rules

It’s important to be flexible with kids. You can’t be Hitler. Draft a schedule for the key factors that make an impact to your child’s lifestyle & overall development of the personality. This includes restricting the number of chocolates allowed every week, intake of junk food, sleeping schedule, or TV/phone time. At least until they’re in high school, make sure the computer is in a public area. You want to know what they’re reading. They will not appreciate it now. But will thank you later. Probably when they see their peers battling obesity or forced to wear a pair of glasses for correction of vision. Parenting is tough. No doubt. You need to equip yourself to be firm but convincingly & tactfully sweet.

4. Patience

At 4 or 40. Patience comes only with practice. Teach the child importance or patience & time. Making them wait sometimes is absolutely fine! Refrain from implementing “easy” solutions like handing over your phone at family outing like dinners or get-togethers. Make them socially involved.

5. Teach social skills

Social skills mean much more than the 3 magical words – “Please” “Sorry” & “Thank you”. You should teach them to not just “Share & Care” but to sacrifice, compliment, be competitive, polite, empathize or apologize. It is proved that a social person is always more successful & happier in life.

6. Treat them as individuals

While it is important to guide them in the right direction, do not thrust your opinion & ideologies on them. Explain the different options and let them decide. Do not invade their privacy. If you disagree with them, be prepared to justify the same. Learn to argue as an intellectual rather than emotional event. Let them choose there are of interest. He does not have to become a Doctor just because you are one yourself. Encourage them to voice & action their thoughts unless that will cause harm to them or others. Treating them with respect like this is also a good way to avoid really outrageous teenagers. If they feel they have a voice they won’t go overboard.

7. Train the “work muscle”

It’s important to set the right precedent from childhood. Doing small activities repeatedly teaches the mind that certain things have to be performed. Polishing the shoes & discarding the soiled socks & clothes from school into the laundry bag is not the mother’s responsibility. Your 6-year old is mature enough to be taught to certain responsibilities.

In my opinion, the best way to raise smart kids is to raise curious, inquisitive kids. Encourage them to wonder & reason. Give them a lot of free reign to get dirty in the process, messy, as long as it’s amendable. Allow them enough play time. We are obsessed with getting good grades and also with teaching them academic stuff far too early. Let them live their childhood. Play games, explore, get bruised and become strong – physically & intellectually. Happy Parenting! 🙂

I WON’T make sacrifices for my child

14-year old Sheela said – “Mom, why don’t you start doing something?”

(Confused) Her mother replied – “Why do you ask me now? What should I do?”

Sheela – “When my friends ask me what you do, I have to tell them that she is a house-wife. But all my friend’s mothers are working or have started something on their own. Why don’t you also do something instead of sitting at home?”

Mom – “Beta, what can I do now? Who will give me a job? I can’t start something on my own alone without support.”

Dejected, Sheela left. The awkwardness was subtle but evident. For the first time a mother felt that her life was worthless. Doing the household chores & taking care of every need of the family members was her DUTY; rather every mom’s duty. So, she was not doing anything extra-ordinary. Or was she?

I WON’T make sacrifices for my child

Sheela was a topper at school – smart & vivacious. Little did she realize that a lot had gone into raising her to be who she is today. Dedicating hours of hardwork to ensure she liked studying & got good grades perpetually. To enroll her in extra-curricular activities through-out the week to give her the exposure & opportunity to learn new things & shape her personality to outshine in this excessively competitive world. And to make a diamond shine requires time, dedication & SACRIFICE. Suddenly all the sacrifice that she had made for her child had lost its sheen.

Her mother left her well-paying corporate job & career so that she did not have to be left at the mercy of a nanny or a day care centre who had little or no concern for the baby. What they do is their JOB, what a MOTHER does is her AFFECTION & LOVE. Shuttling between extra classes after school, making a different variety for every meal, teaching new things at home to engage the curious mind was her SACRIFICE of her ‘Corporate Dream’ & professional growth .

I am a mother of a 1-year old princess. Despite being a doting mother, I can vouch – “I WON’T make all the sacrifices for my child”. Really? Did you just read that? Are these the words of a MOTHER? Can’t be. Don’t be judgmental & curse me. A woman, especially a mother, is an epitome of sacrifice for the family. When you put ‘sacrifice’ as an element, you tend to let the child feel the pressure of “I did this for you”. So, you expect your child to highly appreciate the efforts, pay-back for all that you have given to your child.

But, why should you not sacrifice everything for your child?

When you make a sacrifice for someone, you let go of something you like/love. It could be sacrificing a late night movie that you always enjoyed with your husband or an evening walk with your colony friend or even reading a book. Knowingly or unknowingly, we start applying pressure on our kids, and let our own dreams take a backseat just because we choose to SACRIFICE EVERYTIME. If you do so liberally, by the time you realize, the damage caused becomes irreversible.

Although, “sacrifice” comes naturally to your parent. And here we are not referring the sleepless nights, changing nappies & diapers, endless tantrums of a picky eater or the pain you go through during labor. Those are inevitable and are things you are more than willing to do happily. Because to give birth to a baby was your choice. It was the desire to become a mother/father and to cherish the journey of parenthood.

What parents forget during this journey is “Themselves”! They forget to enjoy the little things that make them happy. Like choosing to take your child to Fun City in a mall instead of enjoying a VadaPav occasionally at your favorite joint. For new mommies, it becomes a Hercules task to attend a school reunion. Correct me if I am wrong! I’m sure I’m no exception. So much that we do for our kids, only to realize after a decade that they don’t really need us or depend on us. And not long from now you will have your child demanding “their space” or “their privacy”. It may be convenient for them to overlook how much has gone into nurturing them & shaping them to become independent individual.

So, I have taken my stand. I will not fret! I will continue to enjoy my desi music while cooking, fortnight movie time (evening show if not for night show) & definitely my Zumba classes. Because I do not want my child to tell me – “Mom, I didn’t ask for it! You did it because you wanted to.” Or probably “Everyone does it Mom, what’s the big deal?” It hurts. Hurts real bad!

I LOVE MY DARLING ANGEL! AND I WILL DO ALL IT TAKES TO MAKE HER A HAPPY & HUMBLE PERSON EVERYONE WILL LOVE TO LOOK UPTO. BUT NOT AT THE COST OF LOSING MY OWN PERSONAL LIFE! AND BY DOING SO, SHE WILL LEARN AN IMPORTANT LESSON IN LIFE – LEARN TO LOVE & RESPECT YOURSELF. A VIRTUE EVERY CHILD SHOULD BE TAUGHT.

I think it’s time for change. It is essential that we understand that our children may not indebted to us. Life is a vicious cycle. Be good to your kids. They will be good to you (life sustains on hope). Should children payback to their parents for raising them? Click here to read more & share your opinion.

 

You Should Not Spank Your Kids | Here Is Why You Should Stop Now

Just like children, adults also listen and imbibe something when it is told in a nice way. Let me hence bring to you a story. Read it and you will know why You Should Not Spank Your Kids.

Aarti looked at him with horror. She has never seen Varun, her husband of five years behave like this. Their three year Aarav was standing still, unable to fathom what was going on. Varun was pacing up and down in the room murmuring continuously, “it hurts…I know how it feels when you are spanked. I know how much it hurts. I know how much it pains. I know Aarav will hate me. I scolded him again today… I am bad.. I am a bad father.”  Aarav was growing up and so was his naughtiness. Aarti and Varun were always behind him. Even though Aarti will be the bad cop, Varun was always very nice to his son, a dotting dad in every possible sense. But today for some reason, Varun lost his cool and snubbed Aarav hard. And, then, all hell broke lose. Aarti was not in a position to apprehend Varun’s behavior. She stood petrified and clueless about why he behaved strangely. What was it that bothered Varun so much. She stood-still wondering!

You Should Not Spank Your Kids | Here Is Why You Should Stop Now

After that day, Aarti noticed that every time Aarti or Varun scolded or spanked Aarav, Varun would behave abnormally. So much so that he began hurling abuses at Aarti, for apparently no reason. Aarti on the other hand found it difficult to handle and decided to consult a counselor. Nothing was working in favor of her. Multiple times she tried talking it out with Varun, but in vain. But, to her utter surprise, she could convince Varun about his abnormality and the fact that he needed to seek help. Varun was sensible, though reluctant.  Even though he was in denial, at last decided for counseling. And then the truth was unraveled…

After few sessions of counseling, Varun realized and was made to believe that all is not lost. What is important for any child is the love that you shower. Even though you spank your child occasionally, it should never over power the love and affection that you have for him. A child is like a soft sponge, like they say. He absorbs everything that you give. So, you need to decide rather carefully about what is getting filled in his kitty more. That is what makes or breaks a child’s childhood in a larger spectrum.

You Should Not Spank Your Kids

You never know how bad a scar it will leave on their body as well as on their minds. If you are struggling with parenting issues, unsure of where to turn to, or needing guidance on how to navigate the difficulties that raising a child can bring, visit BetterHelp.com.

Well, we all spank our kids once in a while. And, it hurts us too. I will not be judgmental towards the mom here. But rather would draw a lesson that what excessive spanking and disciplining can do to a child. Love, I guess that’s the word that is never enough for kids. So, let’s be careful about that and bring out our best in front of a child and certainly not the worst.

You may want to read – How to Have a Happy, Healthy Relationship With Your Child.

It was not “Love at first sight” | A thought provoking story

This is a true story. Although not mine. But a story, that represents millions of mothers. On 14th June 1985, Vaishnavi gave birth to a baby in Bangalore. It was not “Love at first sight”.

It was not “Love at first sight”

While most mothers are overjoyed holding their little one in their arms, I was depressed. I had a baby girl. Yes, a baby girl. In this 21st century, where we talk about gender equality and women empowerment, deep down in our heart, many of us in the urban and rural society still yearn for a baby boy. Once I knew I was pregnant, I had put up 2 posters in my room– one was an adorable baby boy clad in a blue onesie and the other poster was of Lord Krishna – BalGopal – The naughty & charming kid. Tell me if I am the only one to act crazy! Boys are endemic in my husband’s family. So everyone assured me that I too would have a baby boy.

This explains how I was longing to have a prince charming. I was already weaving beautiful dreams of playing with my baby, his first steps, his contagious and naughty smile, those sweet cuddles and everything rosy one could picture relating to motherhood. My husband had no preferences & was happy with either a boy or a girl. Although my in-laws never explicitly expressed their opinion, I knew they always wanted a grandson. You see, the “boys” are the chirag of the family. And girls are the “parayi dhan” who will get married someday & settle into another family.

At the hospital, as I lay down next to my daughter, I smiled and greeted all my family members as they congratulated me. But I was broken inside, as if fighting with myself. I was tired of wearing a mask. And shielding my feelings made things worse. I felt lost, there was a deep sense of emptiness inside me. But I knew I was strong. I was not slipping into post-partum depression.

The only consolation was that I had a normal delivery. I was discharged on the 3rd day. Time heals everything. And with God’s grace, as I spent time with my little angel, I started loving her more by the day. I was no longer sunk in emotions of regret. Her gentle touch & innocent toothless smile stole my heart. I finally became a mother, a loving mother. The mother-child bond became stronger & deeper. Soon, I became her best friend. I’d spend hours conversing with her, telling her stories and rhymes & everything that made me happy & sad. Soon the little princess turned 3 years old.

22nd November 1988. Turns out that I was pregnant again. And this time I delivered a boy baby. Did you just hear “a baby boy”? Yes, a baby boy! Suddenly my happiness grew multi-fold. I realized that I’ve been blessed with the most precious gift on Earth. I felt like I’ve got everything I wished for. A son – who will always be by my side – my pillar of support. There was no stone unturned in nurturing & pampering the little hero of the house. They played & fought together, and soon grew up to be matured adults who took their own decisions. Life was good.

Today, my daughter is 31 & my son is 28. My son is working as an Associate Project Lead at Fidelity in the US. Enjoying work, well settled. Talks to me once a week. In a nutshell, we are bonded reasonably well.

My daughter is an ‘Entrepreneur’. She has a team of 65 people working for her. She chose to marry in the same city as I am in (Bangalore). Perhaps it was destiny. Or perhaps a definite choice. There has not been a day when she has failed to call even if it were just for 5 minutes. ‘Loving’ & ‘caring’ are two common words. But, my daughter has taught me the meaning of unconditional love. As a parent it is considered a moral responsibility to care & sacrifice for your children. As a child to pay back, is necessarily not. But my daughter does. She essays the role of both a son & daughter so effortlessly and willingly.

Yes, it was not “Love at first sight”. But today, she is dearer than any person in my life. She is undoubtedly my #BestFriendForever. And this article is dedicated to every parent who yearns for a boy baby. I can’t thank God enough to be blessed with an angel daughter like mine. I love her to bits. And love her till me last sight.

10 reasons to love BBC Knowledge’s Anniversary Issue

This article has been articulated by Mrs. Primrose Monteiro D’Souza, the Editor of BBC Knowledge, a magazine for the curious mind, from Worldwide Media. She has two decades of experience in writing on families, parenting and travel. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram. We are delighted to exclusively partner with one of the Best Children’s Magazines in India.

Let me put it out there: I am not really a science person. Physics defeated me in school, and I have been more than happy to have nothing to do with the study of chemistry or biology ever since. And yet, I was excited to take on editorship of BBC Knowledge. Because a good publication makes what seems inaccessible something you can understand, and BBC Knowledge, with its impeccable lineage in science, technology, nature and history, makes comprehension a walk in the park.

The current issue’s been out a month now, and the letters coming in tell us that children are reading it cover to cover. The even more interesting news is that adults, too, seem to like it – which means that the magazine’s “for the curious mind” tagline is spot on.

Which also means, even if I say so myself on behalf of my team, this is a smashing issue. Here’s why you should get your hands on a copy or download a digital issue.

10 reasons to love BBC Knowledge

1. We speak your language:

A large part of our stories comes from the venerable BBC Focus, BBC History and BBC Wildlife titles. Which means the content is scrupulously researched and presented by experts in excellent English in an easy, non-intimidating way.

2. We’ve got space this issue!

You and your children will soon be the experts. You’ll know where all the active spacecraft are right now, what Martian water tastes like, about every animal that has ever been out there (and who made it back) , how high you could jump on every solar system body…

3. We’ve got astronauts, too – obviously!

Rakesh Sharma, Sunita Williams, Kalpana Chawla – we celebrate India’s peeps in space. Astronauts like Shannon Walker are also answering questions about going to the loo out there (for both ‘numbers’!), bathing and loving prawn cocktail.

4. We’ve got reader interactivity

We’re just beginning to feature members from the BBC Knowledge family across Facebook, Twitter and Instagram on the magazine pages. We’d love to engage with and feature you too! Find our links at the bottom of this page.

5. We’re getting ready to travel – and eat!

For the first time, we’re embarking on a journey across the globe, bringing you unusual facts and foods you probably didn’t know from countries worldwide. In the issues to come, expect more inspiring travel and international dining ideas to get you and your family moving!

6. We’ve got career inspirations!

Gut Detective. Spider Milker. Insect Investigator. Cave Raider. Croc Psychologist. Real jobs. Real inspirations for unusual career options.

7. We’ve got unusual wildlife

A primate that climbs like a mountain goat, grazes like a cow, and grunts like a belching man – the gelada of the Ethiopian highlands is waiting to be introduced.

8. We’ve got reassuring news about airplanes! 

Safe flying, safe seats, batting birds away – way to go on reducing worrying about that next flight!

9. We celebrate India!
Our big desi pride story this issue is about the glorious Gupta Age. The historians are divided about whether that was the Golden Age of India. This is your chance to decide.

10. YOU get a chance to shape the magazine!
This issue has a reader survey form – or you could do it online at SurveyMonkey. Either way, what we do in the future is in your hands. Tell us what you like, what you don’t and what you want to see more of.

There’s a lot more coming to BBC Knowledge, of course — literature, events, a lot more India, the wisdom of principals. Join us on the journey.

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primrose
The Editor – Mrs. Primrose D’Souza

 

 

Top 10 Vegetarian Superfoods For Pregnant Women

Throughout the three trimesters of your pregnancy, your body floods out various hormones to bear and nurture a new life within. Hence, your diet & lifestyle makes a remarkable impact on your health. Hence we bring to you the Top 10 Vegetarian Superfoods For Pregnant Women. A good diet accounts for all the nutrients, quintessentially required to meet the needs of the developing fetus and the energy requirements of the mother. Regular walks & exercise helps in prevention of developing gestational diabetes, obesity & risk of birth defects.

There are many foods that have immense nutritional benefits like Quinoa, Brown Rice & Flax Seeds. But these may be difficult to accommodate regularly in your daily diet. Hence, we have enlisted the best superfoods that should be incorporated, to ensure your baby’s healthy development.

10-vegetarin-superfoods-for-pregnant-women

Dried Fruits / Nuts

Almonds, Walnuts, Chestnut & Flax seeds are memory-boosting foods & help in the development of the child’s brain and eyes in its formative years. No doubt this is one of the top vegetarian superfoods for pregnant women. It reduces the chances of premature & pre-termed baby. They are great snacking options to replace the unhealthy cookies & chips. Almonds reduce the risk of heart diseases & normalizes blood sugar levels.
Essential Nutrients: Nuts are rich in calcium, proteins, manganese, potassium, omega-3 fatty acids, selenium, magnesium, vitamin E & dietary fibre.

Dairy Products

Milk, cheese, curd, soymilk & tofu are indispensable in accounting for the daily protein & calcium requirement. It is crucial for the development of bones and teeth, reduced risk of under-weight or pre-termed babies, lowers risk of osteoporosis, production of hormones and enzymes & fights infection.
Essential Nutrients: Excellent source of proteins, calcium, zinc, vitamin B.

Apricots & Avocado

These are good alternatives to satisfy the 4p.m. hunger pangs & help in combating morning sickness. Fresh & dried apricots help in relieving constipation and normalizes bowel movements. The calorie-rich Avocados help in building mass & gaining weight during pregnancy. They help in improving your infant’s brain and nervous system by building up tissues.
Essential Nutrients: They are rich in protein, folic acid, calcium, magnesium, potassium, folic acid, vitamin C& B6.

Broccoli & Green leafy vegetables

B for Broccoli. B for Bones. Broccoli succors in development of the bones, improves digestion & heals wounds & bruises. They have anti-ageing elements. GLV’s help in fighting cancer, production of nutritious breast milk & is vital for normal birthing and child development.
Essential Nutrients: They are great sources of calcium, magnesium, folic acid, vitamin A & C, potassium iron, beta-carotene & lutein.

Sweet Potato

Rich in anti-oxidants, Sweet Potatoes come to your rescue when you need to strengthen your immune system. Steamed potatoes ameliorate the blood volume boosting the RBC levels. It is fundamental for building bone mass, skin and vision development. The copper-rich helps veggie assists in better absorption of iron.
Essential Nutrients: It is bundled with copper, vitamin A, B5, C, fiber, potassium, beta carotene, calcium & iron.

Berries

Strawberry, Raspberry, Gooseberry & Blueberry display fantastic effects in protection against cell & tissue damage and cystitis. They help in regeneration of new cells. The bountiful load of folic acid prevents occurrence of birth defects.
Essential Nutrients: Power house of manganese, Vitamin C,K,E and fibre, folate, biotin, omega-3 fatty acids & potassium.

Bananas

Bananas truncate fluid retention and nausea & normalize blood pressure. The commonly available fruit is regularly consumed as it promotes digestion and good sleep. It shields you against ulcers and stomach acids & reduces swelling in the body and improves circulatory system of the body.
Essential Nutrients: Rich in dietary fibre, copper, potassium, manganese, vitamin A, B6, C, tryptophan, pectin.

Beans

Beans provide a myriad of health benefits. Include them in your regular diet to ease digestion, develop placenta, brain development, nervous system, production of RBC’s. Beans also has a significant effect on developing good genes for the baby. They are not just good for the waistline but also balance blood sugar.
Essential Nutrients: Packed with protein, dietary fibre, iron, calcium, vitamin A, C, K, thiamine, and niacin.

Pomegranate

It has fantastic anti-oxidant, anti-viral & anti-tumor properties. It lowers risk of anemia, heals hemorrhoids, strengthens immune system, increases bone density & is an excellent cure for skin ailments.
Essential Nutrients: Rich in potassium, iron, vitamin A, C, E, folic acid and anti-oxidants.

Orange Juice

It increases the absorption of iron and calcium from your food, keeps you well-hydrated, prevents fatigue and tiredness. The Vitamin C in oranges help in fighting cold. It enhances metabolism and increases blood circulation in the placenta. Oranges are great for deep & nourishing skin care.
Essential Nutrients: It is packed with pantothenic acid, folate, calcium, copper, potassium, fibre and vitamin B1, C.

Along with a healthy diet, regular exercise plays a vital role in preventing the risk of birth defects. A combination of good lifestyle & balanced diet ensures a healthy pregnancy. Chickpeas, tomatoes, whole wheat, oats are also incredible sources of nutrition for the mommy-to-be. Eat healthy. Live healthy.