X

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

New Born

Toddler

Kids

By City

Collaborate With Us

“Mama, uncle is black, means he’s dirty.” Unteaching racial discrimination to my kid

Our family has members with a very wide range of skin tones. We have very dark relatives to very fair ones, and all shades of brown in between.

My husband and I fall into the brown range, while our son was considered ‘fair’ when he was born. Apart from the occasional mention, skin colour was never an issue that was seriously discussed or thought of in our household, till a certain incident that happened.

It was my son’s fourth birthday. The party was on in full swing, and my son was happily receiving presents and hugs from his enthusiastic friends, aunties and uncles. All was good till my husband’s cousin brother (who had come all the way from Chennai) hugged the birthday boy. “Eeeeeeeee,” screamed my son and wriggled out of his grasp. The atmosphere turned a bit awkward, and a few nervous laughs later, the party resumed.

After the guests had left, I put my tired son to bed and casually asked him, “Why did you run away from Uncle Ravi?” He replied instantly, “He’s black….and dirty. I don’t like it.”

4th Birthday

I was taken back. From where did a four-year-old get the idea that someone’s skin colour is dirty? “Hey, never say that!” I chided him. But I noticed that he had already drifted off to sleep.

That statement got me thinking, ‘Did he pick it up from school somewhere? Who told him that dark was dirty? Did we unknowingly give our child a message sometime that dark skin meant not beautiful?

My husband and in-laws brought up the topic the next day. They hoped Ravi didn’t feel too bad because it was evident my son had no problem with the other relatives and particularly screamed only when hugged by his much browner uncle. We pondered if it was right for us to clearly tell our child not to behave like this in the future but we also wondered what could have caused it in the first place.

A few days later, I was watching the television with my child, when an advertisement for a fairness cream came on screen. “Mama, you also put that cream, your skin will become glowing like that aunty,” my son said seriously. Then it struck me. We were subtly conditioning our children to be racial all the time.

  • Fairness cream ads are still splashed all over the hoardings and TV screens even today that tell us to become ‘fair’ and ‘lovely.’
  • Most cartoon characters show light-skinned protagonists and dark villains, so children naturally tend to feel that light skin is superior.
  • Our society casually talks about ‘how fair the baby is!’ or ‘How a bride’s skin is glowing!’ It’s these little things that children pick up
  • Dark-skinned babies or adults are rarely the face of a brand or rarely feature in advertisements

So how can we unteach our little kids to be inclusive and non racial? The society will take some time to stop its obsession with light skin, but we can start at home for our kids.

Firstly, my husband and I consciously decided to talk to our child that it is a person’s actions, and not skin colour or race, that determines how good s/he is.

Secondly, we decided to buy books that celebrate accepting people as they are. One such book is, ‘Brown like dosas, samosas and chikki’ by Rebecca Manari that talks about being confident about who you are. Thirdly, we decided that we will discourage labelling people and took this as a parenting lesson for ourselves.

We don’t know whether our lessons will have an impact strong enough for our son to place them above what the society thinks at large. But we believe even a small change will make a difference, specially if that change begins at home. Till then, we are waiting for a dark children’s hero. Any suggestions?

It May Also Interest You To Read –

Breaking Gender Stereotypes – The New Age Kids

Best Birthday Themes for Boys

Best Birthday Themes For Girls

The Day Mamma Spanked Me…

 

‘She was tired’.

‘She had a long day at work’.

‘I might have pushed her a little over the edge’.

…..the little mind was looking for reasons to explain but nothing could take away from the fact that Trisha was petrified by what had happened. Her mamma had just spanked her.

Truth be told Trisha had tested her mom. She had walked around the house in her sandals making muddy footprints because mom had asked her to come back from play and not agreed to “10 minutes more”.

The sight of a dirty house at 8:00 pm, a bad day at work, a rumbling stomach and a defiant toddler had made Sheena do the unthinkable..she had spanked her little one…

Mother spanking child

And now after the house had been scrubbed clean, dinner had been ordered (Sheena just could not muster the courage to cook after an hour of cleaning), both mom and daughter were lost in their own guilty worlds. Waiting for the other to say something…

‘The poor little thing. She must not have expected this’.

‘Why couldn’t I just grin and bear it?’.

‘Will she be scarred for life?’

…Sheena was berating herself.

And just then she just decided to forgive herself and come clean with Trisha. She decided to explain to Trisha why she had lost her cool and allow the toddler to reason with her.

Sheena crouched under the table (which was Trisha’s current hideout) and coaxed the little one out.

Trisha held out her hand, a little hesitatingly, and Sheena’s heart shrunk with guilt. Sheena decided to make Trisha comfortable before they could have the ‘talk’.

Both sat on the sofa facing each other with identical red noses and watery eyes. And Sheena started slowly, ‘ I am sorry Trisha. I should not have hit you today. I did not like what you did but I could have explained it to you in a better manner’.

It was what Trisha was waiting for. She rushed into Sheena’s arms and amidst sobs apologized for her behaviour. After a long and warm hug, Sheena and Trisha had made peace.

Trisha snuggled closer to her mom and promptly went back to sleep, safe in the knowledge that she was loved!

Does that mean spanking is fine as long as you make up? Irrespective of the disciplining technique you use with your child, it is important to be able to communicate to the child that s/he is being reprimanded for a certain behaviour and not for being themselves.

You never know how deep an impact your spank can leave behind on your child’s mind. Do not inflict such a trauma on their mind at such a small age. Seek out help from the experienced therapists at BetterHelp  and lead a happy and peaceful life.

Often times, we fail to make it clear and children start assuming that they are ‘bad or ‘disruptive’ and not their behaviour. Thus follow self-esteem and confidence issues.

And most importantly, give yourself a break mommies and daddies! We are all human. And it is alright to vent once in a while and tell your child what you think of her/his behaviour than boil over all in one go.

So the next time you lose your cool and in a fit of rage spank your child, make sure you have the kind of conversation Sheena had with Trisha. Your child needs to be reassured that you still love her/him. There is no such thing as too much love!

Also read – Don’t Spank The Scars Stay For Life

Best Yoga Poses For Kids

Top 10 Best Gynaecologists & Maternity Hospitals in Surat

 

A woman in our society needs to deal with a variety of situations and play multiple roles effectively at the same time which sometimes borders towards superhuman capabilities. This is one reason that many women often start neglecting their own health and wellbeing which can lead to a wide range of health issues. One major part of such problems are gynaecological issues and complications during pregnancy which needs special attention without any delay and for that the role of a gynaecologist and the right maternity hospital is very important. Read about the Top 10 Best Gynaecologists & Maternity Hospitals in Surat.

 

Selecting the right hospital can be a challange as it involves a whole range of situations and scenarios. We are listing down ten of the best gynaecologists & maternity hospitals in Surat that will help you to make the right choice. While this is not an absolute list, we have taken into consideration the reputation, services provided and the availability of the doctors for each centre.

You can also read about the Best Maternity Hospitals and Gynaecologists in  ChennaiBangaloreHyderabadMumbaiPuducherryKolkataDelhi & Pune.

Bombay Multi Speciality Hospital – Best Maternity Hospitals In Surat

Top 10 Best Gynaecologists & Maternity Hospitals In Surat

Wstablished in 1952 by Shri Rameshwaradas Birla, Bombay Multi-speciality hospital has an efficient and caring team to support the patients in every possible way. They value ethical practices and in maximizing the health benefits of the patient and has a quality policy with regards to the facilities and patient safety. The doctors consider themselves to be accountable about the health of the patients. The hospital has a clean and spacious set up with a 24 hour emergency and modern surgical facilities.
Address: Shop No 202, 2nd Floor, Bhagwati Ashish Complex -2, Above Janta Ice Cream, Prem- Prakash Circle, Citylight main Road, Surat, Gujarat 395007
Senior Consultant: Dr Sonia R. Chandnani.
Contact no.: 1860 108 9999
Website Link: http://www.webmsh.com/

Evergreen Hospital (Rainbow Hospital) – Best Gynaecologists in Surat

Best Maternity Hospital In Surat

The hospital is an efficiently run unit with helpful staff and friendly doctors. The doctors are dedicated to co-operate with the families of the patients and the hospital maintains a good ambience. It is a fully equipped maternity home with diagnostic services and a surgery including laser surgery. It also has gynaecologists and obstetricians along with an infertility treatment centre.
Address: 3rd Floor Shiv Shakti Shopping Centre, Bhatar Road, Surat – 39500
Senior Consultant: Dr Bharat Bhargava.
Contact no.: 09152675717
Website Link: http://www.webmsh.com/

Udhna Hospital Private Limited – Best Maternity Hospitals & Gynaecologists in Surat

Best Gynecologists in Surat

This is a multispecialty hospital which has an efficiently run obstetrics & gynaecology department. It consists of a labour room equipped with the latest facilities and deals with all types of pregnancies. The hospital also conducts all kinds of gynaecological consultations, surgeries and therapies. The hospital believes in integrity, transparency and efficiency in all its practices and considers the patient as the first priority.
Address: 18, Patel Colony, Behind Dena Bank, Main Road, Udhna, Surat, Gujarat 394210
Senior Consultant: Dr Jagruti Desai. MD , MBBS
Contact no.: 0261 227 7993
Website Link: https://udhnahospital.com/

Female First Hospital – Top 10 Best Gynaecologists & Maternity Hospitals in Surat

Best Maternity Hospitals In Surat

The hospital has the mission of providing quality healthcare for women at affordable rates and it offers good care and a homely environment for the patients. It provides specialized care for laparoscopy and hysteroscopy and infertility treatments with about 80% success rate, alongside Test Tube Baby, Genetic Center and IVF treatment.
Address: Kangaroo Circle, Chamunda Restaurant Gali, Opp. Sub Jail, Hanuman Sheri, Umiya Nagar, Sagrampura, Surat, Gujarat 395002
Senior Consultant: Dr. Sweta Patel, MS
Contact no.: 0926 234 3434
Website Link: https://www.femalefirsthospital.com/

Rupal Hospital for Women – Best IVF & Maternity Hospital In Surat

Rupal Hospital Surat

This hospital has been a premier centre for providing healthcare facilities for women of all ages since 45 years. The hospital offers complete solution for all sorts of gynaecological problems, obstetrics and laparoscopic surgeries. It provides services for high risk pregnancy, Infertility treatments, menopause clinic, physiotherapy clinic & paediatric clinic.
Address: Near Gujarat Mitra Press, Dr, Annie Besant Rd, Sonifaliya, Chowk Bazar, Gopipura, Surat, Gujarat 395003
Medical Director: Dr.Malti Shah, M.D., DGO. Chief Gynaecologist – Rupal N. Shah
Contact no.: 0261 259 1130
Website Link: http://www.rupalhospital.com/

Shalby Multispeciality Hospital – Best Hospital In Surat

Shalby Hospital

The practitioners of this hospital believes in giving the highest importance to patient care and continuously raising the standard of their services and thus is among the Top 10 Best Gynaecologists & Maternity Hospitals in Surat. It has doctors and nurse with a caring and friendly attitude and is fully equipped with modern facilities. The hospital provides preventive care, counselling and guidance to women about their health and offers solutions for a wide range of gynaecological problems including colposcopy in which they were the pioneers in the Ahmedabad.

Address: Nr. Navyug College, Rander Road, Adajan, Surat, Gujarat 395009
Senior Consultant: Dr. Monika Patel, MBBS, M.D., DGO. Chief Gynecologist – Dr.Ameesha Ghewa.
Contact no.: 0261 719 0000
Website Link: https://www.shalby.org/

Zen Hospital – Best Obstetricians & Gynecologists in Surat

Best Gynecologist in Surat

This hospital provides complete care for women in all phases, including times of crisis and also in times of long term care. It makes use of world class technology to provide the patients with the best experience. It has a 24 hour emergency setup along with modern surgical facilities and a labour room along with paediatrics, post-natal care, antenatal exercises, advanced fetal monitoring and a laparoscopy centre.
Address: 4th Floor, VIP Galleria, Althan-Bhimrad Canal Road, Near, Ashirwad Cross Road, Althan, Surat, Gujarat 395017
Senior Consultant: Dr. Namrata Gilitwala, MBBS, DGO, DNB
Contact no.: 0261 226 4745
Website Link: http://www.zenhospital.co.in/

Sanjeevani Multi Speciality Hospital – Affordable Delivery Charges In Surat

NICU Surat

Established 5 years ago, the aim of the Sanjeevani Hospital is to provide the best healthcare to all the patients and provide ideal services from social viewpoint. It is one of the best hospital for Trauma, Laproscopic Surgeries & Gynaecology with a wide spectrum of services such as spectrum of specialities like Infertility, General Surgeon, Pediatric care, Psychiatric, IUI, Sonography, Semen Analysis & Urology.
Address: 2nd Floor, Western Business Park. Opp. SD Jain school, VESU Char Rasta, Krishna Residency, Udhana-Magdalla Road, Piplod, Surat, Gujarat 395007
Senior Consultant: Dr. Saumya J. Gandhi. MBBS, DGO
Contact no.: 0261 221 5777
Website Link: http://www.sanjeevanimultispecialityhospital.in/

Foram Hospital – Best Gynecologist In Surat

Foram Hospital
The hospital has skilled doctors who provide dedicated service for health issues related to gynaecology and obstetrics. The facilities of this unit are state of the art facilities including surgery, a clean set up along with well trained and friendly staff and technicians. The Chief gynecologist Dr. Foram Modi has over 8 years of experience in Gynecology but is popular among many mothers since she is very patient and gives personalized attention to all her clients.
Address: 3rd Floor, Modern Shoppe Opp. Vijay Dairy, Rander Rd, Palanpur Patia, Surat, Gujarat 395009
Senior Consultant: Dr. Foram Modi. MBBS, MS  (Dr.Foram Ramolia)
Contact no.: 0261 277 7380

 

So these are some of the best gynaecologists & maternity hospitals in Surat which have the reputation of providing top class medical facilities for women. Let us know in case you have some other suggestions and feedbacks in order to make this list more effective.

When My Child Didn’t Want Diwali Crackers But I Did

When Mom Wants Firecrackers and the child doesn’t!

“Mama, I will not burst firecrackers this Diwali,” my son declared recently.

“But why?” I asked. “Last year you wanted them.”

“Not this time,” he said, and didn’t elaborate.

To be honest, I felt a bit let down. Diwali crackers meant revisiting my childhood for me. I used to wait for my father to bring boxes of sparklers, spiral chakras, cone-shaped anaars. I had a healthy fear for the long red string crackers and red and green ladis. The smell of gunpowder would take me to a happy place, and we would dry the crackers out in the sun a few days before Diwali to ensure that they are absolutely cracking to go.

So when my son expressed his desire for a no-cracker Diwali, I felt someone was trying to take my childhood away from me. I needed to find out what made him take such a decision.

When My Child Didn't Want Diwali Crackers But I Did
Pic Courtesy – Avik Sapal

I sat next to him as he was eating his snack. “So are you going to tell me?” I asked, hopefully.
“What?” He said, looking at me quizzically.
“Why you don’t want crackers this time?” I was hopeful I could change his mind.

“They showed us a puppet show in school and told us how polluting crackers are and how bad it is birds and animals, so no crackers.” He stated.

“But beta, for the sake of tradition, you won’t light up a few sparklers? The kids in the building will be bursting crackers. Won’t you feel like too?” I pressed on.

He paused for a bit. “No mama, I won’t.”

“But you had the puppet show last year as well, yet you wanted crackers,” I didn’t want to give up.

“I’ll tell you why, mama. The other day when I dropped a glass in the kitchen, Cookie (the dog) ran away in fear. When our house was under renovation, you did not allow us to go near the dust and said, “it will affect your lungs.” You keep telling us not to litter our surroundings and that things flammable things are dangerous.
“Now tell me, would you like it if I came to your house, yelled into your ear, put smoke in your lungs, threw paper and fire in your house and said, ‘Happy Diwali’? No, right? Firecrackers do that to earth. I would rather see firecrackers on TV and eat sweets.” My son finished.

CrackerFree Diwali
Pic Courtesy – Gurmeet Sapal

I felt shock and pride at the same time. Yes, we did not think much about the environment during our childhood, but that does not mean we cannot care now. My childhood might have passed, but my son’s childhood is his to enjoy, and if he wants to do so responsibly, then I can only support him because after all, he is right.

So go green this Diwali, it is the need of the hour.

It may also interest you to read –

Is Cow’s milk bad for your baby?

A letter from Teachers to Parents

How not to talk about SEX to your kids

MILK – Why Don’t You Think You Need It As Badly As You Think You Do!

My mother told me that as a baby I declined to sleep in peace unless I was given a bottle of 300 ml milk even after a full meal. Milk and all its derivatives, in all forms (even that ‘malaai’ layer on milk that many find yucky!), was comfort food for me for almost 30 years of my life. Parents of peers, who had a distaste for milk, always sung praises for my love of milk!

And why wouldn’t I enjoy those? I was always given to believe that milk is, by itself, the most nutritious meal I could ever get. Calcium, protein and so on…I consciously opted for curd during my hostel days, ordered a paneer dish on a restaurant outing, gulped down that glass of buttermilk with pride and joy on a hot summer afternoon or, added a dollop of golden ghee on a plate of warm rice. I even loved that ‘Doodh, doodh, doodh’ song on Doordarshan so much that I remember its lyrics even today.

Quite naturally, when I had my first child, I was waiting to see her grow up on cow’s milk. I kept my fingers crossed that she doesn’t turn out like those children who throw that glass of precious milk down the sink behind their mother’s back. Thankfully, she didn’t. Around 100 ml of milk in a day, became a part of her meal routine, almost until she was two and a half years old. The diet chart on the doctor’s file supported it too.

In the meantime, a friend proclaimed that I must visit a nutritionist to seek relief from a chronic issue I was battling, and that she knew someone who has helped her lead a medicine free life. The idea of a ‘Medicine free’ life stirred me up and I took the plunge! This was quite like someone taking me from a cave to a space of bright light that I wasn’t used to and my pupils shutting themselves up!

3 years later, today, as I write, my family and I do lead a medicine-free life. . How that happened is a story for another day, but what I must tell you about is one of the biggest changes that I had to make to our lives since then. Yes, MILK. Say NO to MILK. Forever. True, but not sad.

Is Milk Good Or Bad

That meant, giving up on my first love and a part of my identity, forever.

That meant, challenging a whole bunch of preconceived  notions about milk.

That meant, arguments with beloved family members and friends.

That meant, learning a lot about nutrition and foods, to help me make this shift.

I went back to the books, quizzed my nutritional counselors insanely, experimented  with my own body and lifestyle, found other people who had been ushered on this path, just to get my facts about milk, right.

What I am going to share with you here are probably the rudest and barest truths that I discovered but there’s much more!

Is Cow’s Milk Bad For Your Baby?

Is Milk bad for You

  • For what I believed was a treasure for the body, is actually a currency that our body doesn’t understand. Milk sugar (lactose), needs an enzyme called lactase to digest it. Milk protein (casein) needs an enzyme called rennin to digest it. Both rennin and lactase are not produced in the human intestine after the age of three. If it can’t be broken down by our body, then how will it derive nourishment from it?
  • Nature has devised strategies to nourish young ones for every species. For mammals, it is their own mamma’s milk. That is a tailor-made solution for that specific baby. Cow’s milk is for calves. They grow structurally manifold than human babies do, therefore, their milk has high grade calcium and protein. A calf doubles its weight in 45 days while our babies grow that size in 180 days. Cow’s milk has 300 times more casein than human milk. (Casein is the base for one of the strongest glues used by carpenters. Imagine what it will do to our intestines!) Human babies experience growth in their cognitive abilities along with structural (physical) development. Breastfeeding, for at least six months, followed by a nutritious, ‘real food’ meal intake can provide for our bodies very well.

Also read – Foods that help you increase breast milk production – galactogougues

Best Formula Foods For Kids In India

  • The milk that reaches our homes is processed, denatured. Homogenized, Pasteurized, Boiled. Pasteurization (heating milk to a high temperature) destroys whatever food value the milk may have. Powdered milk, milk substitutes and dairy whiteners are further processed and rendered nutritionless.
  • Cows are forcibly made pregnant every year so that they lactate. A prod is pushed up their uterus to induce milk production (to meet the needs of human population). The conditions in which milk is usually extracted, stored and transported are rather unkind. If not that, they are at least, injected with sperms (a bit like IVF in humans) to make them pregnant. One of my maids told me that in the villages, some even tie the mouths of calves and leave them to starve so that cow’s milk is saved for the precious human market! Why can cow’s milk be dangerous for babies?

Cow's Artificial Insemination
Artificial Insemination

Do you think we will get nutrition from milk produced by the cow under such severe stress? Will we be able to proudly tell such stories to our children that sit behind their glass of milk?

We are, apparently, the only mammalian species that drinks another animal’s milk.

I couldn’t find any reason why we should.

From whoever/ wherever you get your daily milk, ask where is the farm (you can visit if it’s nearby), what the cows are fed, how many times a year the cows get pregnant naturally and how far the milk travels to reach you. (This will give you an idea of the processing it has gone through)

I know, what you have been thinking by now. All that’s fine but how about the calcium and protein we need? Oh yes, that bug crawled my brain too!

This requires holding this guy called NUTRITION upside down. We are told that Food works on our Body, so Cow’s milk gives us Calcium. Whereas, the fact of the matter is – our Body works on Food. If it can’t break it down, it is of no use for us. If we give the body foods that it is genetically programmed to derive nutrition from – fruits, vegetables, pulses, dry fruits, nuts and seeds, it can derive what it needs, when it needs it and how it needs. Calcium, protein, minerals, vitamins, glucose, you name it and we get it. If we have fruits and vegetables daily and raw nuts even occasionally, we are likely to be calcium sufficient!

That, my friend, is a little secret to my family’s well being today. For yours, you can burrow in deeper and rest when you find light.

The Ultimate Guide To Parenting Right….

….wrote no one ever!

If you fell for that title then you are not a parent yet or you have extremely well-behaved kids. And let’s face it, the second scenario is not even a reality. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if someone came by and handed you a manual to follow and pass the parenting exam with flying colours? If only it were that simple.

And if you are a parent, we are sure you came with the intention of having a good laugh at the person who professes to have got parenting right!

You bet!

But what if that person (who has supposedly got parenting right) is too close for comfort? Read ‘Your Spouse’? We decided to take a light-hearted look at some of the most common parenting issues that couples spar over and how we think you can deal with them!

Who’s turn is it to manage the kids over the weekend?

It is the mom’s turn to let her hair down (literally) and take a break and for the dad to unwind before a ‘hectic’ work week and therefore the big question – who will manage the kids? You know what mommies and daddies, the kids don’t need you to ‘mind’ them all the time. So let them laze around a bit, watch some TV, read some, get their knees bruised a bit and for a change – let them mind themselves. It will do you both a whole world of good!

Why can’t I find anything in its place anymore?

The Ultimate Parenting Guide

The kids are already late for school and the spouse too can’t seem to find her/his sock and suddenly the sleepy environment in the home gets charged with a seemingly simple statement: “Why can’t I find anything in its place anymore?” In that one statement, you have unwittingly stirred a beehive. Do you mean to say that your spouse is the reason you cannot find stuff in the house? That s/he is expected to clean up after everyone in the house including the kids? Word of advice: If you can’t find a matching pair of socks, just wear two different ones to work – it is the in thing these days. Trust us on this, you do not want to rouse the queen bee.     

Why don’t you stay at home/go to work like ‘XYZ’?

Uh uh. Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed today? Or have you not had a run-in with the boss these past few days? Whatever your reason was before you unwittingly uttered this statement, you better UNDO it and soon. Need we say more?  

We should let the kid “deal” with the situation

Imagine this. Your child comes home crying about a bully at school. All you want to do right now is to give that bully a piece of your mind. And the spouse, who has not been part of the proceedings, calmly offers you advice like a consultant. Don’t you want to scream! We hear you! But hey, maybe the consultant is right just this instance? Punch a doll instead or take up kickboxing maybe?

Spouse’s day off doesn’t automatically mean ‘No Rules Day’

The Ultimate Guide To Parenting Right….

Sorry to break the bubble fellas but parenting doesn’t come with a holiday. And so, before you decide to let the kids watch a little bit more TV, or eat an extra bar of chocolate more, you better take your better half into confidence. After all who wants to be assigned to a day of doing dishes and folding laundry?

S/he’s just like you.

Now, that is a loaded statement, ladies and gentlemen. And somehow the spouses have perfected the timing on this. Just when you think you are ready to tear your hair (or the kids’) over something, the spouse chooses to make a smart alec comment. And about how remarkably similar they find the kid and you in this situation, no less. Word of advice to the smart alecs: That ain’t smart.

We hoped you had a laugh or two while reading this piece! Tell us about common parenting issues that you and your spouse argue about all the time and we may just have a funny solution to it!

It may also interest you to read –

Confessions Of An Exhausted Mom

A Letter To My Pregnant Self & Other Perfectionist Moms To Be

Key To Successful Parenting: Unconditional Love

I Choose To Be An Authoritative Mom

How NOT to talk to your kids about sex

I remember watching the National Geographic channel one day with my then four-year-old son. It was a program on the birth of a baby elephant. My son watched in awe as the screen showed a slippery, slimy elephant calf slide out onto the ground with a thud. The camera then focussed on the calf’s privates, to show that it was a male. “Male,” said the voice on screen.

“Male? Does this mean females have something different?” my son asked, curiously. I did not expect that to come so early.

“Err, uhm mm,” I fumbled, and changed the topic. “Look, a blue lion!” I shouted, and the awkward question was forgotten. Phew!

My son soon turned five and had begun to read pretty fluently. Once he saw me filling up a bank account opening form. “S…e…x. Sex. What is sex?” He asked, looking directly into my eyes. “It’s err, urrrmmm a word for something in the bank….” I began to sweat.

“I mean that, in the paper,” he said, pointing to the ‘sex: male or female’ column. “Oooohhh,” I said, and the doorbell rang. Pheww!

When he was five-and-a-half, he had another question. “Mom, why do girls sit down and pee and boys stand and do it?”

I looked uncomfortable again. “Well, sometimes they like to sit…. wait a minute, how do you know?” I suddenly snapped into attention.

“Well I saw a cartoon that showed a girl sitting down to use the bathroom,” he said and ran off. “What was this cartoon now?” But Phewww!

How NOT to talk to your kids about sex

Then as a six-year-old, the questions were frequent. “Mama, how are babies made?”

Well, I was prepared for this.

“So, the Mumma has an egg in her body and when this meets with a sperm given by the daddy, a baby is formed,” I spoke confidently.

“So, when is your laying time?” The boy asked, munching on some chips.

“What?” I asked.

“When will you lay your egg?” He asked again, still munching on chips.

“I’ll get you more chips,” I said, walking out. Phewwww! And cluck cluck.

Few months later, the stuff that nightmares are made of happened. The boy walked in on my husband and me getting cosy.

He froze, turned away and stood in a corner. We were embarrassed, but thankful that we were still clothed. It could’ve been worse.

“Come here son,” my husband called. The boy walked shiftily towards us. “What you saw there was uh, some wrestling between your mom and I,” he started.

Our son didn’t look convinced. “Alright,” he said and ran out. Pheww! (from me), pheww! (the husband).

Few more days later he came running to me and yelled, “Mom! Stop what you’re doing, I know what sex means!” Of course, I stopped what I was doing.

“Giriraj from my bus said sex is something personal between a mummy and daddy. They kiss and hug and then get a baby. Boys have a penis and girls don’t. That’s how mummies get the sperm from the daddies. Then the sperm meets the egg and a baby is baked in the mummy’s tummy for nine months and then he’s born,” he finished triumphantly and walked away with his head held high.

Well phew, and shame on me. Thank you, Giriraj.

It may also interest you to read –

Early onset of puberty & How to delay puberty in girls

Getting Pregnant in your 20s, 30s & 40s

Best books for kids by age

Badhaai Ho: Love Has No Age, So Let’s Not Have ‘Pregnant’ Pauses

What happens when a young, married couple announces their pregnancy? Congratulatory messages and sweets flow in and the family elders showering their blessings over the to-be parents.

But what happens when a much older couple with two grown up children say that they’re pregnant again? Whispers follow and the matter is hushed, with the family and society shaming and making fun of the couple. But why the two contrasting reactions, when in both cases, the news is a ‘good news?’

Badhai Ho asks this very question to the masses. Why is love, romance and sex suddenly a taboo in our country when associated with an older couple?

Jeetender Kaushik (Gajraj Rao) is a ticket collector with the railways who lives in New Delhi with his wife(Neena Gupta), mother(the brilliant Surekha Sikri) and two grown children, Nakul and Gullar (AyushmannKhurrana and Shardul Rana respectively). Life goes on as it usually does till Mr and Mrs Kaushik announce that a little one is on the way. What follows are very realistic reactions from the elderly mother, children, neighbours and the society in general . How the family learns to accept the news and come together as a team forms the rest of the story.

Badhai Ho

The movie handles the subject extremely well. The characters are genuine, the cast does justice to their roles and the story has well-timed jokes that will leave you in splits. The message that is dished out is light and airy, and is not pushed down our throats. As we left the theatre, we were left thinking:

Why should we feel embarrassed at an older couple’s (especially our parent’s) display of love and affection to each other? Isn’t it a healthy sign that their relationship is going strong?

Why is it a preconceived notion that only youngsters can be virile while senior citizens should spend their time listening to Anup Jalota? (Even he has broken out of his stereotypic image).

It’s true that we cannot help but feel shy or embarrassed if we see our parents get a bit cosy and we definitely cannot imagine them having sex, let alone get pregnant again. But Badhai Ho wants us to change that.

It shows us that cuddling up to your spouse even when the hair is grey is #relationshipgoals and not something to cringe about. It tells us that whether you like it or not, you must stick by your family. It also conveys that a simple apology goes a long way.

What makes this film likeable is the genuinity with which its made. Chemistry flows between the older couple more than the younger one and relationships are handled well.

Let’s not forget that little hugs, gentle touches and compliments are essential to keep the fire in a marriage burning. Have you wondered why most senior couples love the song “Aye Meri Zohra Jabeen” from the movie Waqt. Because everyone loves the idea of eternal love. No one wants to be that boring, old, bickering couple, after all.

So watch Badhai Ho. Watch it with your parents or even grandparents. Maybe you might smile and not look away the next time they hold each other’s hand or hug. A must watch, delivered well with several pregnant pauses.

It may also ineterst you to read –

Are you ready for parenting? – Nature’s task

A second child. What is the ideal gap?

Getting pregnant after 30

Vaccines: Predators or Protectors?

One of the first things a new parent is asked to take care of – is vaccination. Especially, the polio vaccine among others. The recent news stating that contaminated polio drops have been administered to 1.1 lakh children in Agra district is appalling! These polio vials were apparently contaminated with type 2 polio virus, a strain that has been eradicated in our country and has not been seen for the past two decades. Most of these contaminated vials were sent to Uttar Pradesh, Telangana and Maharashtra, states a news report by The Times of India.

Are lives of children so inexpensive? Are safety and quality controls, of something so critical, not strong enough? Is our children’s health at the mercy of pharmaceutical companies? This issue perhaps got exposed due to the large number of children who were affected. Does that mean other vaccines might have contamination too, the effects of which go unnoticed?

Polio Vaccine Contamination puts 1 in 2 Lakh children at risk, that’s not dangerous.” – says an article on Firstpost authored by the Chairman and practicing Neoonatologist at the Cloudnine Group of Hospitals. This article seems to suggest that the matter is not so unnerving as it is made out to be. May be, statistically that’s true but why should even one child be affected negatively because of a vaccine? What if that child is ours? Is there a way to check the quality of vaccine before it is administered to our child (after all, it is made by humans in a factory and the possibility of error can’t be ruled out)? Do we know what vaccines contain (In case of food, we can atleast read the labels)?

Are vaccines Safe For Children

The matter is too broad and deep at the same time and can leave us feeling helpless. What young parents can perhaps do is arm themselves with information and be more aware before making decisions on vaccination for those innocent, little lives they are nurturing.

What do we know about vaccines and what we do not?

What we understand so far about how vaccines work – By way of vaccination, a regulated amount of disease-causing-microbes (antigens), whose disease producing power has been destroyed, are introduced in the body. Medical experts claim that by doing so, we are equipping the body to arm itself with the requisite protection. It can then identify and secure itself against any future attacks from that antigen by creating antibodies (the warriors of our immune system). This is the definition you will find in any school text book too.

We decided to probe into this matter a bit more than what’s apparent and found a few startling facts that we are compelled to share.

The Secret Ingredients in Vaccines:

The current vaccine schedule exposes children to exponentially higher levels of all kinds of toxic components, ranging from heavy metals to puss and animal by products.

According to the drug companies, to manufacture a vaccine, the specific disease is first grown in a culture and then its bacteria or virus is inactivated.

What we don’t know much about is that Vaccines also contain –

* Antibiotics that are known to cause allergic reactions.

* Heavy Metals and Chemicals that are toxic and have not been evaluated for human consumption by any means. They are a known cause for seizures, brain damage, dementia, cancer.

* ANIMAL BY-PRODUCTS (used as culture medium) that are foreign proteins and can trigger serious allergic and inflammatory reactions leading to death.

* Dead/Inactive virus and the culture medium – The so-called weakened virus can stay inactive for many years in the body. When they become active, many experts believe they are responsible for autoimmune disorders.

This has been published by The Health Awareness Centre in Mumbai. 

How do vaccines impact us that we are not told about?

In our process of investigation, we met Jagannath Chatterjee, a victim of vaccine injury himself. His own journey has catapulted him into an activist trying to spread awareness about the risks of vaccination.  His article How Vaccines can Damage Children states – “When you vaccinate your child it suffers from a condition known as immunotoxicity. It is an allergy like condition whereby the child repeatedly falls prey to infection like illnesses. Stimulating the infant immune system that is ordinarily designed to be passive leads to hyper allergies and autoimmune disorders. A process known as cytokine storm is initiated which can cause extremely high fevers and brain/ organ damage.

Though, as parents, we aren’t aware or don’t often read the labels of vaccines but the risks are mentioned therein too.

If this is true, then how come are they effective in eradicating so many diseases globally, as proclaimed?

“Official data have shown that large-scale vaccinations undertaken in the US have failed to obtain any significant improvement over the diseases against which they were supposed to provide protection” said Dr. Albert Sabin, M.D. (creator of the oral polio vaccine) in a lecture to Italian doctors in Piacenza, Italy on December 7, 1985.

Jagannath Chatterjee shared with us (data compiled from various sources) that around 248 serious disorders and disabilities as per around 500 published studies. The Government of India concedes that its vaccination programme has killed 10,612 children in 10 years and causes upwards of 600,000 adverse effects that are not followed up. These include several diseases, mental health issues, and have also been linked to autism and cancer. Deaths only within 72 hours are recorded.

We were shocked to discover that several cases, of vaccine injury, have been reported worldwide. http://www.vigiaccess.org/ allows us to look up data on any cases that have been caused by administration of drugs, including vaccines.

What does everyone say about it?

Well, the battle is fierce. You wouldn’t find a regular doctor on the street who would advise against vaccines or atleast ask you to make an informed choice.

We spoke to a few parents who have willingly chosen to keep their child away from vaccines, after having done their due diligence on the risks of vaccination. The said parents strongly believe that nutrition plays a far exceeding role in their children’s health and they are cautious about every morsel their child eats. A senior pediatrician based in Mumbai admitted that his grandchildren have never been vaccinated. No pediatrician practising allopathic medicine has been known to explain the risks of vaccination, as apparently they have to be compliant with the norms of Indian Academy of Pediatricians (IAP). However, few homeopaths have been known to have advised against vaccination.

On social media platforms, there are several forums that advocate stopping mandatory vaccination, or re-educating people about vaccination and there are several parents coming forward to share stories of vaccine injury. Though there’s hardly any unanimity on this matter amongst the medical fraternity, there’s no denial on the risks of vaccines.

In case you want to study this matter further, there’s a lot of data and research presented here about the case against vaccination.

While we are not asking you to feel guilty of about vaccinating your child, there’s certainly a need for introspection. Are vaccines really so critical to prevent diseases? Or, is there more to good health in the long term?

We aren’t closing this one on a happy note but for something that’s seemingly such a universal truth for young children starting right at birth, we have only half-baked information. Isn’t fair, right?

It may also interest you to read –

Is Gripe Water Safe For Babies

A Letter To My Pregnant Self & Perfectionist Moms to Be

5 Best Baby Prams And Strollers In India